More Funny Easter Facebook Status Updates

…thinks one good thing about Alzheimer’s is that you can hide your own Easter eggs!
…asks: If you were a Creme Egg, how would you like to be eaten?
…wonders if those box of chocolates say 1 pound how come you gain 10 pounds by eating them?!?
…can’t wait until Sunday morning so he can find the eggs [...]

Funny Easter Facebook Status Updates

…bets that chickens really hate Easter… after all, how would you feel if you people ate all of your eggs and some stupid rabbit got all the credit?
…has learned how to tell where the Easter Bunny has been… eggs (X) marks the spot!
…thinks they have figured out the Easter Bunny’s Super Secret plan to eliminate [...]

Another 10 More Hilarious Facebook Status

…is wondering when Hallmark is going to make a card that says: “I’m so miserable without you, it’s almost like you’re still here.”
…is starting to learn that a bargain is really just something you don’t need at a price you can’t resist.
…now knows that a bus is basically a vehicle that runs twice as fast [...]

10 More Funny Facebook Statuses

Here are a couple more of those humorous Facebook status updates for you!

…would like to remind everyone… if the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall off.
…has learned that you are never too old to learn something stupid.
…heard that there is a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can’t get away.
…was told [...]

More Witty Facebook Status Updates!

…is here to say that worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.
…should’ve known it wasn’t going to work out between my ex and me. After all, I’m a Libra and they are a little tramp!
…got into a fight with this really big guy! He said, “I’m going to mop the floor [...]

Some More of Those Good Stauses for Facebook

…says that we have enough gun control… what we need is idiot control!
…learned that a diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to Hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
…has never hit a man with glasses… I hit them with a baseball bat!
…has learned the true meaning [...]

Even More Saint Patrick’s Day Themed Facebook Status Updates

Happy Saint Patrick’s Day! Here is another collection of to make your friends green with envy!

…admits that when I see a rainbow, I always get that greedy little look in my eye.
…is doing St. Patrick’s Day right this year! In my cupboard — nothing but Lucky Charms cereal!!
…is going to try to pick up women [...]

Even More St. Paddy’s Day Facebook Status Updates

Yep… some more of those St. Patrick’s Day something funnies for Facebook!

…reminds you never iron a four-leaf clover, because you don’t want to PRESS your luck!
…found the pot at the end of the rainbow. To bad the leprechaun already smoked it!
…says: Kiss me, I’m 0.05% Irish!
…is going to dye his liver green today!
…just beat up [...]

More Funny Saint Patrick’s Day Facebook Status Updates

Second verse, same as the first!

…likes all of the traditional St. Patrick’s Day songs… like, “Deck the Halls with Bowls of Beer Nuts,” fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la.
…just got back from your typical St. Patrick’s Day party… the party broke up at about 11:00—the furniture at about 10:00…
…just discovered something that could revolutionize St. Patrick’s Day — green [...]

Saint Patrick’s Day Facebook Status Updates

To help celebrate Saint Patrick’s Day here are a collection of Saint Patrick’s Day Facebook Status Updates for you to enjoy! And when the Irish tell you about the time St. Patrick chased the snakes out of Ireland… just remember what they don’t tell you: he was the only one who saw any snakes!

…just figured [...]