Enjoy Some More Witty Facebook Status Updates

Daniel Allen Sunday, February 28th, 2010

Here are another batch of witty Facebook status updates for you to add to your arsenal. Remember, use them wisely!!

…would like you to know that if sex is a pain in the ass, then you’re doing it wrong…
…is a bit confused… if a bus station is where a bus stops, and a train station [...]

February 28th, 2010 | Tags: , , , , | Category: All Facebook Statuses, Comedy, Facebook Status | Leave a comment

More Funny Facebook Statuses

Daniel Allen Friday, February 26th, 2010
WTF LOL License

Here are ten more of those funny Facebook status updates that you love so much… use them wisely!

…has noticed that we never really grow up… all we seem to do is learn how to act in public.
…would like to partake this piece of advice: going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than [...]

February 26th, 2010 | Tags: , , , | Category: All Facebook Statuses, Comedy, Facebook Status | Leave a comment

Hilarious Facebook Status Updates

Daniel Allen Wednesday, February 24th, 2010
High Five!!

Another day, another dollar, and another list of Facebook Status Updates for everyone to enjoy!

…originally asked God for a bike, but then I realized that God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness instead!
…has learned not to argue with idiots. They will only drag you down to their level [...]

February 24th, 2010 | Tags: , , , , | Category: All Facebook Statuses, Comedy, Facebook Status | Leave a comment

Fun Facebook Status Updates for George Washington’s Birthday

Daniel Allen Monday, February 22nd, 2010

…wonders if George Washington spoke to his army in general terms…
…just found out why George Washington had trouble sleeping… wait for it… because he couldn’t lie! (insert groan here)
…just figured out why George Washington’s father didn’t punish him for chopping down the Cherry tree even after admitting to doing so… because George was still holding [...]

February 22nd, 2010 | Tags: , , , , , | Category: All Facebook Statuses, Comedy, Facebook Status | Leave a comment

Funny Facebook Status Updates

Daniel Allen Thursday, February 18th, 2010

Oh the insanity! Here are another list of ten more funny Facebook status updates to tickle your funny bone and put a smile on your face… because, why so serious?!?

…doesn’t suffer from stress… I’m the carrier!
…is not tense, just terribly, terribly alert!
…has realized that insanity is my only means of relaxation.
…always says: No guts, no [...]

February 18th, 2010 | Tags: , , , , | Category: All Facebook Statuses, Comedy, Facebook Status | Leave a comment

You Don’t Know Jack!

Daniel Allen Tuesday, February 16th, 2010

While I know that the first rule of Fight Club is that you do not talk about Fight Club and the second rule of Fight Club is YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT FIGHT CLUB doesn’t mean we can’t talk about Jack! So here are some good old fashioned “I am Jacks” Facebook status updates:

…is Jack’s [...]

February 16th, 2010 | Tags: , , , , , , | Category: All Facebook Statuses, Comedy, Facebook Status | Leave a comment

More Funny Valentine’s Day Facebook Status Updates

Daniel Allen Saturday, February 13th, 2010

Keeping with the Valentine’s Day quote theme, here are a few more hilarious Facebook status updates for you! Short and sweet!

…require three things in a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.
…believes that women are cursed… and men are the proof!
…figured out that it’s the women with pasts that interest men… they hope [...]

February 13th, 2010 | Tags: , , , , | Category: All Facebook Statuses, Comedy, Facebook Status | One comment

Funny Valentines Day Facebook Status Updates

Daniel Allen Thursday, February 11th, 2010

…is wondering why in the world a chubby toddler with a weapon was chosen to represent Valentine’s Day!?!
…’s girlfriend came home from work crying yesterday and asked me to console her. So I hit her over the head with my Wii.
…know what I gave my significant other for Valentine’s Day this year?…. HOGS and Kisses!
…forGOT [...]

February 11th, 2010 | Tags: , , , , , | Category: All Facebook Statuses, Comedy, Facebook Status | 3 comments

Valentine’s Day Facebook Status Updates

Daniel Allen Tuesday, February 9th, 2010

…just had the worst nightmare! It started with: “Do you, Gilbert Gottfried, take this woman, Fran Drescher, to be your lawfully wedded wife?”
…just woke up from a moment of delirium to find myself kissing the hula girl tattoo on the bicep of the bar’s bouncer… again!
…is astonished by how adorable I am!
…got a ticket to [...]

February 9th, 2010 | Tags: , , , , | Category: All Facebook Statuses, Comedy, Facebook Status | Leave a comment

Humorous Valentine’s Day Facebook Status Updates

Daniel Allen Sunday, February 7th, 2010

…consulted his magic eight ball for help with girls… it said ask again later… and then gave up and exploded.
…loves valentine’s day… where nookie is only a box of chocolates away.
♥ ♥ May the love u share b as timeless as the tides & as deep as the sea… ♥ ♥
…wants Cupid to stay away [...]

February 7th, 2010 | Tags: , , , , , | Category: All Facebook Statuses, Comedy, Facebook Status | Leave a comment
 
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